you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
