I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
