So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
