Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize