Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I thought you said his peep was too small

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.

Fav 11 975 2058
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(453): View more from

apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.

Fav 15 903 4316
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(816): View more from Missouri

I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.

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(315): View more from New York

its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus

Fav 12 4197 1789
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(707): View more from California

He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.

Fav 21 7789 1515
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(810): View more from Michigan

Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is

Fav 3 998 888
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(614): View more from Ohio

You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen

Fav 2 50 27
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