"it" just moved
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm both gender and math confused
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
