worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
