i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
