I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
