i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i've created a new STD.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
