Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
