I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
