when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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