I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
