It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
