we have officially lost it.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
