perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
