it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
