Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
