She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
