I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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