I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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