Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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