I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
