I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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