saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize