Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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