Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize