I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
