It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
