I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Holy sore nipples Batman
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
