I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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