She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
