im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My liver just broke up with me...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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