bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
