I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
