i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
