I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
