my sisters under your porch take her home
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
