If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize