i already hear my dad disowning me
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
