Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
