some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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