There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize