he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
try to milk me bitch
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