pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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