All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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