i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
