I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
