My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
