After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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