the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
