Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
