i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
