I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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