She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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