Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude i'm inner monologue high
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
