I want to walk on stilts...naked
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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