I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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