Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She announced her abortion via fbk
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
