Where did you get a picture of my penis
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize