Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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