Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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