did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
