What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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