i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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