ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
