People in love make me want to vomit
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
